GregHowley.com

Customer Service Hell

March 7, 2005 - -

About six weeks ago, after moving to Colorado, we set up Linda's scanner and quickly noticed that it was scanning very poorly - ugly multicolored streaks through the screen. So I called HP technical support, and the saga began.

After conversing with a telephone voice-recognition system (having to speak out loud to a non-human is even worse than pressing keys to navigate voice menus) and then holding for another ten minutes, I got on the phone with someone in India who barely spoke English.

An hour later, he was able to confirm that my scanner was broken. I could have told him that in a bit less time. So he offered to credit the $25 tech support fee I'd paid if I'd pay another $75 to have a replacement scanner sent to me. It was a decent scanner when it worked, so I conceeded. Of course, when I gave him my address, I had to re-spell it very slowly many many times. I understand that the Indian folks at these call centers are probably very intelligent and educated people - I certainly have no claim to bilingualism - but they don't speak English well! They're not dumb, they just sound dumb because they don't speak the language. I'm sure I'd sound like an idiot if I ever visited Bangladesh. They need to move these call centers back to America if they're serving Americans. Or at least a English-speaking country! Move them to Canada, Ireland, or even Australia for all I care!

But back to the issue. I was being sent a replacement which was due to arrive in about 4-5 days via FedEx. But we got busy and didn't think of it until 2-3 weeks later when it didn't arrive. So I went online and opened up the FedEx tracking number I'd been given. Turns out that my address, which is 110 Tranquil Court in Canon City, had been taken down as 110 Trunkwood Ct in Buckskin Joe. Buckskin Joe??!? Excuse me a WTF here, but I just don't get that. Trunkwood I can understand, if not excuse, but Buckskin Joe I just don't get.

So I went through the whole tech support call thing again, and wrote HP a letter of complaint while I was on hold. In the end, after about an hour, they resent the scanner.

Three or four days later I get a call from an American gentleman named Rob who works at HP. At least I can understand him. He asks how things are going, and after we chat, he assures me that the scanner should arrive soon. Shortly after I hang up, it does. This was last thursday.

The weekend was busy, but today I finally got a chance to try hooking the thing up. I'll spare you the technical details, but it didn't work. Then, this afternoon, FedEx shows up with - guess what? - another scanner. I just don't get this. So I tried that one. Still doesn't work.

So I called back Rob at HP and explained what was going on. But he's not tech support - he's in management and he can't help me, so he directs me to India for tech support. Aargh.

So just a few hours ago, I went through the same annoying voice menus and hold time. Luckily, the second Indian gentleman I got transferred to spoke very good English. (sigh of relief)

In the end, the symptoms were thus: The first scanner I was mailed makes a loud beeping noise and the scan-light remains lit continually while it's plugged in. The second scanner I was sent is completely dead when I plug it in. No light, sound, or motion. The original scanner I had which has the scanning color issues acts properly - it lights up briefly and the carriage moves a small bit back and forth when it is connected. Jeebus.

So I'm sending both scanners back now, and they say they're going to send me another one. I was just barely on the verge of trying to send them ALL back and just buy some other brand. But they're not charging me anything, so I'll suffer with this a bit longer.

Wish me luck.

Comments on Customer Service Hell
 
Comment Wed, March 9 - 12:16 AM by pmd
Someone predicted on one of the news channels that in certain parts of India, English will be spoken almost exclusively as the primary language within 1 to 2 generations. It was also predicted that many of these people who speak English natively will only gain a basic understanding of what used to be the native dialect, if they bother to learn it at all. Sucks for them, losing their culture and all that since companies are now looking to outsource (if you can call it that) their jobs to some former British colony in Africa where they already speak English fluently and can work for less money.

Sorry, I'm just bitter. Probably won't happen anyway... but it makes me feel better. Sounds like something Douglas Adams may have written about.
 
Comment Wed, March 9 - 11:33 AM by tagger
(sigh) HP again. This is really too bad. I was a huge HP fan in the sixties and seventies. They made the best scientific test and measurement gear you could find. Along with Tektronix and Fluke, they were the gold standard for engineering companies, IMO.

Then, they got into the consumer market and now, 30+% of their bottom line is . . . bloddy ink-jet cartridges. So sad.

I've had similar experiences with HP's support staff, and am now buying printers from Brother and Samsung as a result.

There was a story going around a few years back that Dell corporate customers got so pissed off with talking to the Indians that they threatened to buy (gasp) IBM. I don't know if it's true, but I DO know that if I call Dell's corporate support line, I get a guy named Bill or LeRoy in Texas or Tennessee. If I call the consumer line, I get an Indian who tries to tell me his jame is "John Smith."

Only the customers can make these bozos cut it out, but they won't do it -- for the same reasons that hockey fans still line up to buy tickets, even after what the league has done to them. Customers won't do anything at all because that would take self denial and the energy to shop around and maybe spend a few dollars more.
 
Comment Wed, March 9 - 11:54 AM by tagger
More . . .

Perhaps the time (25+ years) I spent training engineers, users and support people gives me a different slant on things like this, but I don't really see anything wrong (in principle, at any rate) with sending telephone support off-shore. There are, however, two large problems.

First is language, which Greg has already addressed.

The second is culture and training. Support people are often given scripted questions and responses. In the case of the Indians, whether by culture, training or both, you can't blast them off that script with TNT. They're going to ask exactly the same annoying, sometimes pointless, questions regardless of what the problem is or how much trouble-shooting you've already done. I've found that a technical person is actually at a disadvantage when talking to these people, because you can't get anywhere with them even (especially?) if you know what the problem really is.

As for the combination of language and culture, I once got a lecture from a Hindu gentleman who threatened to terminate the call if I didn't watch my language. The offending phrase? It was (wait for it) "screwed up." The support guy apparently thought this was English for some horrible obsenity.

To repeat from my previous post - the customers do have control of this process. They are either ignorant of the fact that they can get HP and others to change the way they do things or too lazy to exercise that control.