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The Future for Elder Scrolls 4

April 17, 2006 - - -

I recently acquired a crystal ball. With it, I have looked into the future to see what will happen with these Oblivion mods Bethesda is releasing. I figured I'd share what I found with you here.

In April of 2006, Bethesda releases a mod for Elder Scrolls 4 which allows players to put purely cosmetic armor on their horse. A mild uproar ensues, complaining of the expense of this minor alteration in the game. The longest-lasting effect is the addition of the term "horse armor" to the internet slang lexicon. In much the same way that "Snakes on a Plane" is taken to mean "shit happens", "Dude, you bought the horse armor on that one!" becomes a phrase meaning that one has made a poor decision.

Throughout the remainder of 2006, more expansions are released: "Orrery", "Wizard's Tower", "Den of Iniquity", "Mercenaries of Anvil", and "Tower of the Necromancer". In early december of 2006, Bethesda releases "The Pleasure Prison of the Bthuvian Demon Whore", which although it is rated M, causes an uproar amongst anti-gaming activists, in which they point out that even games rated for children can have adult content added through mods. Jack Thompson spearheads a campaign to pass legislation making user-modding of videogames illegal.

The holiday season in 2006 sees the release of Neverwinter Nights 2, which with its incredible expandability draws interest away from Elder Scrolls 4. Bethesda stop releasing mods, choosing to focus its developers' time on Fallout 3.

In April of 2007, Windows Vista is released. To the surprise of many a gamer, it is found that Oblivion is not compatible with Microsoft's new OS. A patch is released for $8. Many complain that a simple patch for a year old game which does nothing more than make it playable costs so much, but Bethesda responds that the patched Vista version also includes an enchanced user interface, new items of clothing, and simulated HDR lighting for low-end graphics cards that don't support HDR. Users point out that these mods were available for free download within weeks of the game's release last year. These complaints go unanswered.

Comments on The Future for Elder Scrolls 4
 
Comment Mon, April 17 - 7:10 PM by pmd
DAMN IT! Now (future) history will be changed and I've been shunted into the wrong timeline! Game Over! ... And I was SO looking forward to that $250 million dollar lottery jackpot.
 
Comment Tue, April 18 - 10:13 AM by Brandon
Don't forget the part where Bethesda charges us 150 pts for all the individual downloads and then puts out a download pack with all of them for 200 points. Huzzah!

Then again, I've already purchased The Orrey, so who's the idiot now?
 
Comment Tue, April 18 - 9:00 PM by Magus2
You beat me to buying to Orrey, congrats Brandon!