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I came across a list on the BBC's website recently of the worst movies ever, and it made me think - what would I categorize as the ten worst movies I've ever seen?

So I put some thought into it, and here's what I've come up with. First, a list of the worst movies I've ever seen, and next, my favorite bad movies. I know, I've got to quit it with these lists - it seems like one out of four of my posts are lists. After this one, I'll try to cool it with the lists for a while.

10. Muppet Treasure Island I've never taken drugs or hallucingens of any kind, but after having watched this movie, I now know what it would be like. I have vague memories of muppets singing and floating in odd blurry colored backgrounds, but can't remember much more than that. Hey PMD - were you there when we watched this?

9. Master of Disguise One of the only movies I've walked out of in the theater. I've always been a big Dana Carvey fan. Opportunity Knocks was great, Wayne's World was great, and I loved him on SNL. But this film was terrible. I mean, really. His character's name was Pistachio Disguisey. Too over the top for my taste. Bleugh.

8. Daredevil There have been a number of excellent comic book movies. X-Men. Spiderman. Unbreakable. But there have also been some bad, bad ones. Catwoman. Punisher. And this piece of crap.

Did you know that being blind will heighten your senses and allow you to jump thirty feet straight up??!? I actually think Ben Affleck is a good actor. I loved him in Sum of All Fears. But this movie was a sad and sorry mess.

7. Open Water Two deep sea divers get left behind by a negligent scuba company. Out of sight of shore, they must try to survive until someone realizes that they're missing and finds them. Based on a true story. Is it a struggle to survive? Yes. Is it interesting to watch? Nowayman. The number of things the writers had to invent to fill a feature length movie was incredible: Sharks. Cramps. Man-o-wars. I'm almost surprised that aliens didn't come. A horrifically boring movie. There is no reason for anyone to ever watch it. Ever.

6. Troll 2 The first movie was bad. Why was there ever a sequel? In a town mystifyingly named nilbog, a boy is pursued by goblins (there are no trolls in the movie) who are trying to feed him nilbog milk in order to change him into a goblin. I still remember hanging out with Glenn Hydock, watching a scene in which an old hag is pushing the stuff at him and he's screaming "No! No! I don't like to!"

In another scene, he has to prevent his family from eating a meal which would turn them into goblins. He does so by peeing on all the food. Niice.

5. eXistenZ What a confusing and annoying movie. It was sci-fi, and looked interesting, so Mark and I rented it. It turned out to be a poor attempt to be The Matrix. Characters enter a VR video game, and do all sorts of weird nonsense stuff, and at the end, they seem to exit the game and re-enter reality over and over again. What is real?? Ooooooo...

4. Spiceworld Okay. So I haven't actually seen Spiceworld. But do you need to?

3. Starship Troopers 2 I'm not going to comment on the original here, but this "sequel" - and I hesitate to even call it that - was amazing in how bad it was. Granted, it was straight to video, but I remember being fairly enthused when I first heard about a Starship Troopers sequel. But the storyline was trite, contrived, and appallingly boring. It would have fit in well amongst the sci-fi channel original movies.

2. Popeye They played this movie on TV this past weekend. The 45 seconds or so I sat through before I could get to the remote were hellish. I got to listen to Robin Williams sing "I yam what I yam what I yam what I yam what I yam what I yam what I yam" enough to last me the rest of my life.

1. Leonard Part 6 I saved this one for last for a reason. This is hands-down the worst movie I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot. I really like Bill Cosby, but even he'll tell you not to watch this movie that he wrote and starred in. He bought the TV rights to make sure that it would never be shown on TV. I'd rather sit through a marathon of Xanadu, Zardoz, and Leprechaun 6 than have to watch this movie again.

Bill Cosby is a former CIA spy who used to try to get shot because his enemies would always shoot at him with golden bullets, and he could use the gold. He comes out of retirement to stop a megalomaniacal vegetarian with a plot to take over the world by contolling animals. With an villain like on the loose, obviously only an ostrich-riding, lobster-battling ballerina like Cosby can save us. There's a review here which you should read - it's more entertaining than the movie.

Next up, my favorite bad movies. These are movies I'll acknowledge are bad, but somehow I still like them. (I won't say love)

• Gymkata A story of a gymnist/martial artist on his most dangerous mission.
  Why it was bad: Did you know that an award-winning gymnist can be trained in martial arts for two months and then sent out to battle the forces of evil?
  Why I liked it: This movie is great for the same reason the original Evil Dead is. It was so horrifically bad that it becomes a comedy. Fun to watch simply to make fun of it.
• Hudson Hawk Bruce Willis's quirky comedy
  Why it was bad: Two thieves who apparently have perfect internal metronomes time their burglaries by singing while they're doing the jobs. Sandra Bernhard always annoys me. Villains named after candy bars.
  Why I liked it: I enjoyed the stupid jokes. The movie so does not take itself seriously. And when the vicious tiny little dog got launched out the window and off a cliff, I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.
• Breathing Fire A martial arts movie starring Bolo Yeung and the kid who played Data in the Goonies and Short Round in Temple of Doom
  Why it was bad: Two junior high schoolers consistantly beat up muscular and well-trained adults. The acting isn't going to win any awards. Jerry Trimble's character adopts a kid in Vietnam whose mother he killed and names his new son "Charlie".
  Why I liked it: Growing up, my brothers and I must have worn out the VHS tape watching and rewatching this movie. It's actually got some really good fight scenes, and some interesting techniques which may not work in real life, but definately worked in the movie. Ed Neil's only movie ever, and I loved watching him fight.
• Rad A BMX movie that was indeed radical
  Why it was bad:The most cliche and predictable plot ever, with token 80s music and kids who can't act.
  Why I liked it: A bunch of kids have to use teamwork to build the best BMX team ever and beat Helltrack. Cool bike tricks and racing - I saw the movie only once, when I was probably 12 or 13, and I have nothing but fond memories for it.
• Female Trouble A John Waters movie. Need I say more?
  Why it was bad:Looks like it was filmed with a camcorder. No plot whatsoever. closeup shot of a penis. I could act better than they do. It actually took me 4 or 5 sittings to watch the whole thing; I couldn't stomach more than 10-15 minutes at a time towards the end.
  Why I liked it: It's like a train wreck. So unbelievably horrible, but somehow you can't look away. Dawn Davenport, played by overweight transvestite Divine, is the psycho who over the course of the film becomes a "crime model" when two other psychos convince her that immorality and beauty are one. She takes liquid eyeliner injections and gives a performance that culminates in her shooting at the audience. I honestly don't feel a need to ever watch this again.
• Wild Wild West Wil Smith and Kevin Kline's steampunk Techno-western
  Why it was bad:Implausible and historically inaccurate. Terrible terrible Fresh Prince theme song. Wil Smith passed on the role of Neo in The Matrix in order to star in this movie. Lost tons of money and got horrible reviews.
  Why I liked it: Great banter. Maybe it's just my personal sense of humor, but I love the dialog and the puns. I think the back-and-forth between Wil Smith and Kenneth Branagh is awesome.
• Evil Dead 2 Bruce Campbell's swansong
  Why it was bad: It was supposed to be.
  Why I liked it: Bruce Campbell is an incredible physical comedian. The movie doesn't take itself seriously one bit, and the bad special effects just add to the humor.

Well, that's that. Happy Monday.