Call me Rupert

Wednesday, November 10th 2004

(1 comment)

Recently, the crazy group of 6 I work with has taken to calling each other by different names. Yes, this is the same group that plays the YouAreDumb game. I'm Rupert. At least I'm not Skippy or Rasheed like my coworkers though. It all started in an IM conversation between my boss and I last friday.

Before I can tell the story however, I've got to give you some background info. My boss Gregg is the same age as I am and sits about two feet to my left in the adjacent cubicle. Why do we talk via IM? I have no answer for you.

But although politically correct almost to a fault, Gregg is very fond of heckling people. He and Mark have taken to calling me "The Whirly Twirly Guy" since they learned about my swing dancing. The following conversation begins just after we'd been discussing whether Count Rugen and Prince Humperdinck, two characters from Princess Bride were gay. Aside from formatting and commenting on Gregg's list and removing typos, this is our full conversation.

ghowleytrv (2:28:50 PM): I'm heartbroken about Count Rhoogan

GDIGENNA68 (2:32:54 PM): Why? Did you have a thing for him?

ghowleytrv (2:33:13 PM): If I had, wouldn't I be excited rather than heartbroken?

GDIGENNA68 (2:33:31 PM): No, because part of the revelation is that he is madly in love with the prince

GDIGENNA68 (2:33:50 PM): He has no room in his heart for a whirly twirly boy

ghowleytrv (2:33:56 PM): Didn't they all die anyway?

GDIGENNA68 (2:34:05 PM): Humperdink lived

ghowleytrv (2:34:07 PM): Hey - that's whirly twirly man to you...

GDIGENNA68 (2:34:16 PM): Sorry, I forgot

ghowleytrv (2:34:31 PM): Mister whirly twirly man

ghowleytrv (2:34:37 PM): ...sir

GDIGENNA68 (2:34:43 PM): You're pushing it, don't you think?

ghowleytrv (2:34:58 PM): just as far as I can

GDIGENNA68 (2:34:59 PM): You're lucky we don't just call you whirly twirly

GDIGENNA68 (2:35:10 PM): You pushed it too far

GDIGENNA68 (2:35:16 PM): Now you're just whirly twirly

ghowleytrv (2:35:29 PM): yeah yeah... that and 100 other nicknames

GDIGENNA68 (2:35:35 PM): Keep pushing and you'll get WT

GDIGENNA68 (2:35:49 PM): Wait, that would be better, wouldn't it?

GDIGENNA68 (2:36:04 PM): How about just Twirly

GDIGENNA68 (2:36:28 PM): That's a nice sexually ambiguous nickname. No guys like sexually ambiguous nicknames

GDIGENNA68 (2:38:10 PM): You're going with Twirly

ghowleytrv (2:38:33 PM): I think we all have many nicknames

GDIGENNA68 (2:38:37 PM): We'll think of something for Keith

ghowleytrv (2:38:39 PM): I'm also Cpt. Valuation

GDIGENNA68 (2:38:59 PM): True. And Major Coinsurance

ghowleytrv (2:39:05 PM): and you're Heckle

ghowleytrv (2:39:11 PM): and Sherlock

GDIGENNA68 (2:39:15 PM): I want to be General Heckles. You shouldn't outrank me

ghowleytrv (2:39:16 PM): and RB is Mycroft

GDIGENNA68 (2:39:38 PM): a team isn't a team until everyone has a nickname

ghowleytrv (2:39:52 PM): Melissa is at a nickname shortage

ghowleytrv (2:40:04 PM): or is it just that we can't use any of hers in polte company?

GDIGENNA68 (2:40:06 PM): We should come up with nicknames that are just bad takes on everyone's last names. How about this.

GDIGENNA68 (2:41:04 PM):

  • RB - Magazine (His last name is Book)
  • MW - Wrong (Her last name is Wright)
  • MG - Silver City (His last name is Goldberg)
  • GH - Fowley (My last name is Howley)
  • KJ - Johnson (His last name is Janson)
  • GD - DiGennario (His last name is Digennaro)

GDIGENNA68 (2:41:18 PM): And Liro can be Nero

GDIGENNA68 (2:41:43 PM): You like Silver City, don't you? We could just call him Meriden and that would really confuse people

ghowleytrv (2:42:04 PM): Or we could call him Stewart. That would confuse him.

GDIGENNA68 (2:42:28 PM): I dare you to call him Stewart for an entire day

ghowleytrv (2:42:32 PM): oh man

ghowleytrv (2:42:35 PM): That's too good

GDIGENNA68 (2:42:37 PM): Just refuse to call him anything other than stewart

ghowleytrv (2:42:40 PM): I think you have to join in

GDIGENNA68 (2:42:43 PM): And you have to do it in the meeting tomorrow

ghowleytrv (2:42:45 PM): We should both do it

GDIGENNA68 (2:42:56 PM): Don't get me into your sick little games

ghowleytrv (2:43:04 PM): My games?

GDIGENNA68 (2:43:11 PM): Exactly

ghowleytrv (2:43:11 PM): Whose idea was it that I should call him that all day?

GDIGENNA68 (2:43:19 PM): Yours

ghowleytrv (2:43:23 PM): N

GDIGENNA68 (2:43:27 PM): I've delegated the decision to you.

GDIGENNA68 (2:44:02 PM): That would be rich, wouldn't it? We could get the whole team to call him Stewart

GDIGENNA68 (2:44:05 PM): Or just Stew

GDIGENNA68 (2:44:08 PM): Of Stewy

ghowleytrv (2:44:12 PM): Stewart sounds better

GDIGENNA68 (2:44:18 PM): I'm laughing just thinking about it

ghowleytrv (2:44:23 PM): I can't hear you

GDIGENNA68 (2:44:32 PM): I was just about to say something like that

ghowleytrv (2:45:30 PM): Guess what?

GDIGENNA68 (2:45:43 PM): What?

GDIGENNA68 (2:45:56 PM): If you say chicken butt . . .

ghowleytrv (2:45:56 PM): look behind you

At this point, he turned to see that I'd replaced Mark's nametag with a handwritten one that said "Stewart". It's still there. And soon afterwards, we all had nicknames. Call me Rupert.

Comments on Call me Rupert
Comment Wednesday, November 17th 2004 by tagger
Talk about a weird coincidence . . . yesterday, I ran out of mindless drivel to read on my lunch hour (you know, Dennis Lehane and the like), so I pulled an old Spider Robinson SF anthology out of the stack. One of the entries is the 'Duel Scene' from Goldman's "Princess Bride." Never saw the movie, but really liked the book (read it around 1979 after reading a Galaxy review by . . . Spider Robinson (his first for them). Weird.

The anthology is called "The Best of All Possible Worlds." The copy I have was published by Ace in 1980.
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